Mr. CC's CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: Depressing depression era Christmas cartoons

Yo, What's up? It's been a while. What have you been up to? Oh, me? Not much. Just working... Anyways, Welcome! With the holiday season fast approaching, it's time for christmasy things... Music on the radio, fist fights at Wal-marts for junk on sale and the creepy crawly feeling of family togetherness.

There's also all the damn holiday movies. While I have my favorites (National Lampoon's Christmas vacation, How the Grinch stole Christmas, the snowman, and Long kiss goodnight (YES THIS IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE!)) We're gonna talk about something a little different.

A long time ago, I had a VHS tape that had maybe 6 or 7 cartoons on it and sometimes a live action segment. This was from a time when most VHS tapes cost quite a bit. These cartoons however were past their copyright expiration, making them pretty cheap. You can still find DVD collections of public domain cartoons and movies at dollar stores or Wal marts.

Most of the cartoons on these tapes are from the 30s through the 50s, but we're gonna focus on the ones from the 1930s because I'm the one writing the article, dammit.

For the most part, the cartoons from the 30s all feature a concept of hope and/or charity. It was the depression. People didn't have much and what they had

So, let's get started!

#1- Christmas Comes But Once a Year-1934

I remember this one because it was usually the first one on the tapes and because of the music. It starts out with a melancholic voice belting out "Noel" and a revolutionary (for the time) 3 dimentional view of the outside of the orphanage. We then see the rundown orphanage typical of everything in the 30s era.

Broken down crappy  tree with broken ornaments? Check, dirty socks used as stockings? Check

Weird picture of miserly egg-headed mr burns on the wall? Check. Okay, let's go!

Now we see the orphans get up and start their Christmas morning with... GARBAGE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!!! The kids all get toys that are one play away from breaking and when they get them out, all break. This results in the kids all crying in droves.

Merry Christmas! Enjoy your new toys from Walmart! We'll just sit here and cry.

Enter Macgyver claus:

This character always bothered me. Maybe it was okay back in the 30s to be a strange old man that goes up and fixing orphan kids Christmases, but there's just something odd about the whole thing. He literally breaks into the orphanage and starts making toys out of stuff sitting around the orphanage.

 The part that always made me wonder was the part when he sits on the steps and puts on his thinking cap. He comes up with several unspoken ideas but the most convoluted one makes the light light up.

For what it's worth, after seeing this cartoon, I would hear "Put on your thinking cap" and imagine this thing.

What were his first two ideas that got beat by breaking in and building stuff out of the utensils and dishes??? Go back in time and prevent each kid from becoming an orphan? Gah, I would think if you had enough money to buy a powered sleigh in the 30s you would have more than enough money to buy each of the kids at least one toy... But I digress, let's keep going.

Macgyver Clause goes into the kitchen, piles up every bit of junk he can find and proceeds to make toys out of all of it, inluding a sled made from a washboard, a flying airplane made from a spoon, a spool and a dowel rod... And then this thing:

 I should add that he's laughing maniacally while building these contraptions.

Yes, using a feather duster, a sock, an alarm clock mechanism and 2 forks, he made this... abomination. What the hell is it? How is this going to be any fun for a kid to play with? It smells like dirty feet, it's dusty and the forks are sharp. Anyways, 

The professor decorates the orphanage, dismantles the stove to make boots, and gets the kids up to play with their new "Toys". He then creates a sledding hill on the stairs, builds a christmas tree using umbrellas and it slowly fades to a 3d spinning christmas tree then to this:

No children were harmed in the making of this cartoon simply because they felt no pain as they went.-creepy white santa

Annoyance level-4/5- You might not ever get the damn song out of your head once you hear it.
Sadness level-2/5-Starts out sad but everything works out... I guess... But can you imagine what happens when the orphanage owners come back the next day and they see all the stuff used to run the orphanage has been broken or used to make toys?

#2 Somewhere in Dreamland

So, here we are again. This time we have two unemployed Campbell's soup kids that gather wood out in the street.They pass by several storefronts where the shopowners see their plight

Unlike the kids in the first cartoon, these kids actually have a living parent!

It's Olive Oyl's missing sister, Canola!

The kids are served a meal of what looks like a brick with icing.

Kids, finish your mortor or you won't get any stucco!
 

The two then go to bed because, hey, it's the depression, what else are you going to do? Then they start their trip into dreamland

Kirby Not included!

There, the kids find trees with new clothes, fields of ice cream cones, popcorn fields and new toys.

 The kids wake up to see that the three shopowners dug into their profits and gave the kids a decent meal complete with toys. the boy jabs a fork into his backside to make sure he's not dreaming.

Annoyance level-4/5- Both of these kids suffer from "Popeye mumble syndrome" throughout the entire cartoon talking in a low whiny mumble that gets stifled by the music. Granted, what they're saying isn't really necessary to the plot, but it's noticeable.

Saddness level-4/5- As a kid, it's a happy ending. The kids wake up and have a nice morning. As an adult that understands finances better than a 5 year old, it raises all sorts of questions and makes some points, The kids will be fine for this morning and maybe a few days afterwards when they can have leftovers, but then they'll still be in the same plight. If one of the store owners had offered the mother a job it might help.

I just counted a few things... I'm not gonna get obsessive.

The other part is how much money went into this spread. Granted, it's 3 storeowners, but they're still in a smaller neighborhood. I researched a little and figured out the food on the table and toys left for the kids would all amount to much more than the 3 storeowners could possibly afford unless the food is all day-old and the toys are of the same quality that were in the orphanage in the last cartoon.

#3 Peace on Earth- 1939

https://archive.org/details/PeaceOnEarth1939

Ah, war. This one tops them all. We start off with the ruins of civilization, complete with ruined church window, cannons dilapidated from years of disuse

SYMBOLISM

We then pan over to a little city made out of soldier helmets and other military junk.

We then meet our narrarator, an old squirrel that tells the story of the last of man.

I didn't catch it the first time, but the lamp post is a bayonet.

The old squirrel tells the story of why there's no men left on earth. Apparently we killed each other to the point that no one is left. With the demise of man, the animals of the forest come out to wrecked society and find a book.

 SYMBOLISM! Also, could you imagine if another book were found? 

Imagine if the owl found a nature guide and read that his species was supposed to be eating the other animals and not rebuilding the world with them.

 

Yep, our furry creatures apparently know how to read, comprehend English and go about rebuilding society as well as repopulating the earth.

 

That's the story kids, Everyone's dead except the animals and its all our fault we couldn't get along.

Annoyance level 1/5- This one has some history. It makes a good point and has been remade a few times. It's actually not a bad cartoon.
Sadness level- 35/5 - Being told of humanity's demise because of our inability to get along by sentient talking animals kinda hits hard.

Bonus: Creepy Silouette of 12 days of Christmas, FEATURING OSCAR BRAND!!

So, this isn't a cartoon and it's not from the 30s, but I remember it being on one of the VHS Christmas tapes I had. I remember it being the last feature on the tape which was a good thing because I shut the VCR off before it had a chance to scare me. There shouldn't be anything scary about this. It's just a guy playing a guitar while a woman dance, but it's all silhouette.

So, that's it for this time around. Happy Holidays!

Halloween special :Book of ultimate evil- food fight I can find it

On a gloomy and darkened day,
I took a trip to get away
Down a road of asphalty stone
into a thrift store, full of the unknown.
It was there on the shelf amongst calvin and hobbes
that I found a book that made my head throb
"How?" I wondered.
"Why" I thought.
Upon my checking out with the stores wares,
the shopkeep gave me a happy stare.
"Why, it's just like the waldo books!"

I frowned sadly and my head shook.
"Not exactly, Not quite"
She got a look of fright.
I began to tell the story of the foodfight franchise when she said:
"Look, dude... Do you want the book or not?"
I paid and got out.

Yes indeedy, Foodfight! Never heard of it? That's okay. I hadn't heard of it until a year or two ago when I saw a review by nostalgia critic. Go ahead, watch it... Get all caught up with us. Not going to? It's got a bad reputation despite having a decent voice acting cast and an incredibly high budget.

I've had the privilege (What word is the opposite of privilege?) of watching this movie (Along with Sausage party) and found it to be frightfully bad. Not even campy, just bad.
If you've never heard of it, here's a quick history... But really, it's just something you have to experience on your own.
One day, a film company decided it wanted to make a movie about grocery store items, so they went to several different corporate sponsors and asked if they wanted to have their licensed images used in a movie. Time passed and the project had difficulties getting off the ground. 10 years later, the movie finally got made as cheaply as possible. The End.

The fact that they made a book about it is odd. Anyways, let's take a look at the book. (Upon writing this, I see they also made a sound book. Let's hope I don't find a copy of it...)

Try not to stare at it for too long or you'll begin to question your sanity.

This book is just like all the other "Find this" books like Where's Waldo or I Spy books, but there's just something unsettling, No one asked for this book to exist. Or at least I don't think they did... I feel like the board meeting went with one person pitching the book to a room full of blank stares and people texting each other "Is this guy serious?" One filibuster later, everyone agreed that they could go free if the book was made.

Upon opening the book, I see the souls of the damned cry out, yearning to be released from their book hell. And the gist of the book:

This is it, a weak "Where's Waldo" type of thing. The items you're looking for aren't even that well hidden. I mean, I know it's a kid's book, but even the waldo books tried.

Foodfight facists.

Again, This book makes so many more questions about this entire franchise. 

Question 1: WHY?

Question 2: What did they have on all the actors that gave their voices? 

Question 3: Is this something that they just don't ever talk about again? Does Wayne Brady ever get a phone call from Hilary Duff at 3AM  crying about the nightmares? Do they just not have it on their resume? 

And finally Question 4- What should I do with the book?

Answer: Make it so the book will never do harm again.

I can't do anything about the movie... Sorry.

Stay Tuned!

Deadstocked book report: The atoms family

One of the many things I sold while running my online business was books. My selling lead me to go out to rummage sales, thrift stores and pretty much anywhere else I could think of to get cheap merchandise and turn a profit.

It was at a church rummage sale in my town that I stumbled upon a memory. A memory that dated all the way back to 3rd grade. Because of our closeness to a power plant, a worker from the plant came out to talk about nuclear power and to hand out a book to each student in the class. This is a report about said book.

Bababadum

{Geiger counter clicks twice}

Bababadum

{Geiger counter clicks twice again}

Bababadum Bababadum Bababadum

{Geiger counter now clicks fast and starts beeping}

They're clicky and their nukey,

They'll turn your body ooky

Who's bright idea was this bookie?

The atoms family!

So, yeah. This is what we were handed and along with the help of our teacher, we were supposed to learn how nuclear power works. 

Being an 8 year old, there were only two things I knew about nuclear power.

1)Homer simpson works at a power plant and 2) Something called a meltdown, thanks to hours of watching my mom play simcity.

When it came time to ask questions to the friendly technician, I asked one question. "Could there ever be a meltdown?"

This question caught the nice guy off guard. I'm sure a classroom full of kids would ask dumb questions like "Do you like your job?" or "Does it pay well?" But to be asked such a serious question by a damn kid must have disheartened him. 

Not wanting to cause a panic, he shrugged and said :"Anything could happen, but there's a lot of smart people working at the plant to prevent that kind of thing from happening.

(I would like to note at the time, my dad was working at the power plant and I can easily compare him to Homer Simpson, if that means anything regarding the technician's answer.)

Anyways, to the book...

Way back in the 3rd grade, I did all the activities and read all the stuff because I was deep down, a good student.

The book I found was actually in pretty rough shape. The back few pages were a little tattered and someone had really gone to town on a few of the pages with marker.  There were a few pages that survived that I've taken a second look at as a sullen smart-ass adult.

Judging from the mother atom picture and the two "baby" atoms, this could also be used 

for some obscure sex-ed class for asexual reproduction.

Context is everything, kids...

Another fun page I looked at as an adult and figured I could leave this page blank and uncolored with creative thinking. The obvious answers of what shouldn't be colored is the cake, the cat, the apple, the fish and santa... But here's my reasoning behind leaving them all uncolored:

Apple: Much like the vending machines in springfield's power plant, I'm sure healthy and tasty apples have a home at the plant for hungry workers to eat.

Cake: What? Workers at the plant can't celebrate birthdays or retirements with cake? What's this world coming to???

Santa: I don't want to work at a place that doesn't allow the open celebration of holidays... Christian or otherwise. (Now that I think about it, if I was a worker at a plant and saw Santa any time of the year other than at Christmas, I'd be calling security...)

Fish: (Insert blinky the 3 eyed fish joke) (Also, I'll come back to this one.)

Cat: To help keep those pesky radrats under control.

Why are there stairs for the fish?

As I look at this now as an adult with a degree in biology, I can state 2 things, 1)fish are pretty stupid and 2) water has a tendency to flood. With enough water in the system, those fish would go straight to the damn core... I know, I know, Real plants have filtration systems and grates and stuff to keep things from getting into or out of the plant...

The more I look at this, the more I get the idea that the guy that created mirelurks from fallout had this book at one point in his life and just kept staring at this thinking "Wouldn't it be cool if fish got into the power plant and mutated into monsters?"

Thoughts as a kid:I can draw better than that!

Thoughts as an adult: Are they already mutated from the sun's radiation?

This is another picture that kinda bothered me both as a kid and as an adult. As a kid, I just was bothered as to how poorly drawn it was. As an adult I wondered why they weren't drawn to look more human.

I mean, in less than 10 minutes I can draw 2 faces (With my non-dominant hand) that look more realistic. Here, look:

Well, enough of that. Hope you enjoyed this. Maybe I'll get around to doing more...

CC Goes Gamin' - Anthologies

To me, I like buying games where there's more than one game within the cartridge/disc/whatever. Especially older games that I grew up with.
Yep, I'm a damned dinosaur when it comes to games. The new 3-d stuff is alright I guess, but I still find myself going back to the old stuff I grew up with.
Anyways, this is sort of a review over the few anthologies I've bought over the years.

So, here's a quick review/opinion article over some of them.

#1 Sonic Ultimate Genesis Collection

Price I paid: 16.35
Number of games: "over 40"
approximate cost per game: $.41+or-
Worth it? : Totally!
So, I didn't exactly grow up with the Sega Genesis. My cousin had it and when we went to visit, I indulged a little and played. I did manage to get a Genesis when I was about 15, but traded it to a friend for some N64 games.

My main reason for buying the game was some of the RPGs on it. Shining force I and II are on it as well as Phantasy star 1-3 (You have to unlock #1 but it's doable.)
There's also plenty of good arcade games on this puppy. The original Alien Syndrome, Decap attack, Fantasy Zone and Gain Ground are on here. In addition, it has a pretty handy save state function for games that didn't otherwise have any kind, like streets of rage, the first sonic game and several others that simply lacked but needed a save ability.
There's also plenty of games for single or 2 players.
This is the kind of thing I love. Plenty of games and added features all for one simple price on one disk.

#2 Metal slug Anthology

The one I bought didn't have boxart...

Price I paid: $32.24 (USED)
Number of games: 6 1/2* Read further on this...
approximate cost per game: $4.96
Worth it?: Uh, Yeah!
So, I have a bit of an unexpected Metal slug addiction, which is actually somewhat surprising, seeing as how I don't usually like many "Run-n-gun" games. But there's a long back story as to how I got into metal slug.
       I was about 13 when my mom took me, my sister and two of her friends  to this campground. They had this little arcade in the basement. There were 2 or 3 pinball machines (Addams family, Jurassic park and I can't remember the other one...) Galaga and metal slug 2.
 I put in a quarter and got to playing and was taken by the graphics and gameplay. I was just wowed and had never heard of the game before.
Fast forward a few years later to college. A friend of mine had an X-box 360 and one of the games on the arcade was MS3. I had been reunited and was happy.

Anyways, The MS: Anthology comes with "7" games. Metal slugs 1-6 and Metal slug X which is just Metal slug 2 with some modifications, It's still the same game, just with some added bonuses.
The only problem is that (To me) The only ones that feel worth playing are 1, X,3 and 5. I don't know why but I feel that the other games, 2, 4 and 6 are mediocre at best.
There is something though. If you have a second player, it changes EVERYTHING. All the games become something different and it adds a nice Competitive Co-op mode.

#3 Mega Man Anniversary Collection - PlayStation 2

Price I paid: 12.99
Number of games: 8 + 2 games that can be unlocked
Approximate cost per game: $1.30
Worth it?: Hells yeah!!!

So, I grew up a massive fan of the Mega Man series. I had 2-6 on the original NES but after the house went down after the storm, I had a profound desire to play them again... That's when I heard about the collection on Gamecube and PS2. I bought it online and it fulfilled my robot bloodlust.
All the games I grew up with were there in their original format along with some other ones I had never played before.
I only played 7 a few times and I never even heard of 8

The first 6 were what I was accustomed to and they were in their original unaltered versions which made me happy. 7, which I had played maybe 2 or 3 times in the past, was alright. 8 was okay but I never got around to beating it. 

#4 Mega Man X Collection - Nintendo Gamecube

Price I paid: 30.00? (But now I see it on amazon for PS2. NEW for 12.00)
Number of games: 6 + one game to be unlocked
Approximate cost per game: $5.00 or 10.00 per game I actually liked to play...
Worth it?: Let's talk about that...

Ah Megaman X. The grown up version of the thing I grew up with. A little darker, better graphics... I actually disliked the X series. But again, I grew up with 1-3 because I had the SNES and rented it constantly.
    At the time of me buying it, I was in college and had some extra money holed away. I saw it on sale at Wal-mart and thought "Hey, It might be fun to get back into that." I was half right. The first 3 games brought back a sense of nostalgia. The catchy music, the decent graphics and neat enemy design made me remember what I did like about the series. And then there was X4 - X6.

Growing up, I didn't get a playstation until I was maybe 13, and even then, I only played it at my dad's house which I only went to maybe 4-5 times a year and it didn't have a memory card. The games I had were Crash Bandicoot Warped(good), Austin Powers Pinball ( Yech.) and Croc (Meh...)
I never got into the 4-6 games and looking back, I probably wouldn't have. The complex storyline, the desparate reaching for creative enemy design and dark edginess didn't do it for me. 

And then there's the game that you unlock... a Megaman racing game. To me, it isn't good. It feels like a poor version of Mario Kart with Megaman characters. Meh. 

The X Collection was my first introduction to the later X games and I wasn't Thoroughly impressed. It might be for some gamers, but not for me.

Well, That's it for now. Go play or something.

Deadstocked : Action figure cleanout

I've been cleaning out all the old junk that has accumulated in my house lately. A majority of it was stuff I bought thinking I could make a profit by reselling online. I had high hopes. I could find a bag of action figures at thrift stores for as little as a dollar with the chance to make 30 - 50 dollars a piece.
Unfortunately for me, a few things happened... Other people got the idea and I didn't read the fine print that "Box included" is what made the items so fetching in cost. So, a few years have passed, My ambitions are low, so it's time to get rid of all this junk that's been cluttering up my room and garage. Heck, some of this stuff I've had since childhood. Let's take a looky-loo at what we have...

"Talking" Steve Irwin with Alligator

I went to school for wildlife management. One of the reasons I went was my love of nature and the desire to educate others about the wilderness. My inspiration to do so came from a few key people: The Kratt Brothers, Jeff Corwin and of course, Steve Irwin, The crocodile hunter.

Mr. Irwin passed away while I was in my first year of college. His passing kinda hit me hard. I had always wanted to meet him and found him to be inspirational. I found an action figure of him that has a speak function that isn't working right now. (I think the batteries might be dead.) I still feel kinda attached to this one, so back into my collection he goes!

Big ass collection of power rangers

I grew up half-watching the power rangers as a kid. It was neat, The monsters were cool and the plots were simple enough. I guess but I never got into it. Whether I wasn't really old enough when it was on or it just missed me altogether, I'm not sure. It also did fall into a group of things I didn't really like because as a kid, I loved mega man (Oh, here we go again...) and people that saw me liking mega man figured I'd like MMPR as well... It really wasn't my thing. I managed to find the figurines a few years back and had heard there was a movie coming out so I put them in storage. I never found the opportunity to list and sell them so whatevs. From what I've seen online, they don't sell for much anyways.

Bigger Ass collection of pokemon

I now noticed that my sister drew on Chancey.

Ahh, Pokemon, AKA Jump The Shark The Franchise. I was part of the first wave of pokemon. I even got a damn VHS explaining what pokemon were and how to prepare for the invasion. I got into it a little bit. I bought Pokemon Red, Pokemon Snap and Pokemon Stadium... But that was about it. My real love came partially from the figures. I bought a single set and then everyone around me decided "We know what to get him for gifts for every occasion" I had amassed a collection of dozens of the damn things. When Pokemon Gold/Silver came out, I was on a delay and hadn't got to play it for a few years. I haven't even picked up the later games. I kept one or two that I legitimately liked, but the rest are going to be donated, Let some die hard freak win the lottery...

The shitheads... I mean, Hersheys Kisses people

That's what they look like though...

Ask any kid what they think these things are, and they'll tell you they're some sort of attempt to cash in on the emoticon movie. But, they're not. Once upon a time, in a mystical land called Pennsylvania, some guy invented chocolate and took over the world... He built a theme park based off of chocolate or something.

In all seriousness, these are the little mascots for the Hersheyland park that remind me of the 7 Duffs from the simpsons. I've had these sitting around for about 20 years and gave up trying to make heads or tails of them. Whatever. NEXT!

Farfel the dog

Does anyone else find it ironic that they're using a dog to sell chocolate?

I didn't know who or what the hell Farfel was until I looked him up recently. He was a puppet used to sell Nestle brand chocolate. I'm not even sure where I got him, but I'm now somewhat glad he's gone. I feel like the ads he was in were damn creepy.

The cameraman was killed instantly.

 the director was found hours later, stuffed with baby Ruth wrappers.

Some simpsons figurines

Once upon a time, I actually liked watching the Simpsons. I bought the video games, I watched the shows, I bought the kids meals just so I could get the stupid toy that came with it. Then, one day, I quit watching. Not just the Simpsons, but like... Everything.

In college, I didn't have much time to watch much of anything, so shows I was interested in (Lost, umm... There were others...) got the axe in my interests. Simpsons was one of them. I missed close to 12 years, and I don't really plan on catching up. For what it's worth, Uter is a neat character, and Creepy flanders was cool too, but not cool enough to keep.

Weird Heavyset GI Joe knock-offs

These things were cool. I remember getting them when I was about 9 and thought they were the greatest. I can't remember the brand name they were, but they were only sold at dollar general for a few years. Each of them came with an accessory ,usually a gun, or a grenade. The cop came with a night stick, The climber guy had a pick axe and the fire fighter has a fire extinguisher.

I had the entire set and then one day, the stores just stopped carrying them completely. I never figured out why. I don't know why, but they sort of remind me of the Heavy from Team Fortress 2. Whatever, They don't bring me Joy anymore. Into the donation bin they go!

Ephialtes from 300

300 was a movie that came out while I was in college. Everyone quoted it, did the "THIS IS SPARTA!" quotes and all the other crap. I found this amazingly detailed figure at a thrift store for 50 cents and bought it hoping it was worth some bank. It was not. He wasn't in the box and didn't have his extra head, so he wasn't worth listing. 

Buncha Kaiju

Awesomely enough, these 3 were in a box at a yardsale marked "Dinosaurs" I got them all for a dollar and kept them for a while. While I'm not the biggest fan of the old Godzilla movies, they're pretty detailed figurines. I hope a big Kaiju fan finds them at a thrift store and loses their mind on the luck they had finding them.

Stinky diver from Kablam!

I have no memory of how this guy got in my collection, but I have a vague memory of the show Kablam! Stinky diver was part of a group called "Action League Now!" which was a group of crime fighters that... Fought crime... Ack, just watch a damn episode.

Inspector Gadget with a friggin' Ax.

I found him like this. I'm not kidding.

I remember going to a yard sale where action figures were in little bags. These two were bagged together along with the silvery ax that the one gadget holds. I don't know why he was packaged like this by the people selling him, but I like it. I'm keeping him. The other one can go.

Well, that's one of many crates of junk cleared out. Stay tuned! Or don't... I'm just writing this dumb thing, It's not like I have authority over what you do.

Farewell to my last job : Working at a neat saddle shop

About 4 years ago, I got a job at a saddle shop doing internet sales work and IT stuff. It was the first real job I got since graduating college and it paid the bills.
In addition to this, I had also managed to get my driver's licence and started making my way in the world.

It started out simple enough. Manage an Amazon, Ebay and regular store account with some help from another IT worker. Things were going pretty good and normal until about a year and a half into working...

I assume this means no more horsing around at work...

My boss, who is an avid military collector decided to buy a collection and add it all to our regular merchandise. After a while, I became the only IT person and learned quite a bit about military stuff. 

But, things can't remain the same for long. I grew tired with my job, and other stuff happened. So, starting soon, I'm making my way into the medical sector.
With all this being said, here's 10 things I got out of working for a neat little saddle shop.

#1 I learned how to drive in a northern Ohio Winter

Hope you have mittens...

Before I started working, I had never learned to drive a car. I knew how, but never got around to getting my license. Luckily for me, I managed to get it all figured out by August of 2013. By November, the first heavy snow storms had hit and there I was driving a 10 year old Oldsmobile Alero (White by the way,) Into a damn Blizzard.
I also learned that car electrical systems get wonky as hell in the cold. One morning it was -30 out and when I started my car, the windows decided to roll down, When there's ice on a window that's trying to go down, the window tends to shatter and break. Long story short, I drove 20 miles into town with no window and cuts on my face to get a replacement.
Though I dread winter still, I'm still confident I can make it to and from work without dying. (fingers crossed, Note to self, buy St. Christopher Pendant.)

#2 A surplus West German combat helmet (with cover!)

What tended to happen often with certain items was that they just wouldn't sell. We'd list them, they wouldn't sell. Time would pass and my boss would ask me to go ahead and relist them. This helmet was the first of many items I got tired of seeing not sell. I finally decided "Heck with it, I'm buying it so I don't have to reshoot it and re-list it." Price-$10.00

#3 a surplus East German M43 Spring hat (2 of em!)

I accidentally the pictures...

Yet another in the line of items that didn't sell well. But with a little difference. I actually wanted one of these. Something about them, I really like. The color is good and the earflaps are nice. I like them so much, I bought two!

#4 WWII Era 83rd Division Patches

This is where things get neat. During WWII, My uncle Sam Magill Served in the 83rd Division where he managed to get 20,000 German Troops to surrender. My sister made a video on youtube about him. I jumped at the chance to buy the patches that belonged to my Uncle's division. 

#5 A replica German Luftwaffe officer's sword

I actually don't condone anything the Germans did during WWII. This thing has a funny story. My boss was going to a gun show but didn't have enough room to take this. He buzzed me in my office and asked "Do you want a sword? It's a reproduction but it's a sword." I was hesitant but said yes. He brought it up, asked for 10 bucks and also threw in some other stuff. 

For what it's worth, the sword is an obvious fake. I debated for a while of altering the pommel and guard piece to make it into something else. But I'm lazy.

#6 A gas mask I'm afraid to do anything with.

I can't even remember what I did with the real thing...

The gas mask I bought was a case of laziness at work. I didn't feel like researching where the mask came from, and I didn't feel like photographing it, so I just asked how much my boss wanted for it. He made a deal so I threw it in the trunk of my car and was like "Great! Now I have a gas mask!" 

A few weeks passed and I was researching another gas mask when I learned that a lot of the masks used asbestos in the filters. I put the mask away somewhere and have never messed with it again. Eventually, I might get it back out and get it tested, or just pitch the damn thing, but I haven't decided yet.

#7 Pretty good experience with customer service

This was actually pretty good. In the 4 years I worked at the store, I learned how to negotiate with frustrated customers, communicate with customers from other countries and just plain deal with people. There's no picture for it, but it's good anyways.

#8 My photography got used in a book I can't read.

While working on old Civil war era photos, I was contacted by a group that did research for photos of the era. They said my photo skills were impeccable and that they wanted to use my photography in their book. I agreed and was hoping to get a copy, except, it's on this thing called "dropbox" I don't understand it so I'll probably never see my handiwork. Oh well. 
(If you're interested, here's a link to the facebook page.)

#9 A pretty darn nice Knife

Not a whole lot to say about this one. It's a nice looking knife.

#10 Surplus West German Dust Goggles

To be used for my supervillain costume.

Well, that's it. I start work at my new job on Monday. See ya all later!