One of the many things I sold while running my online business was books. My selling lead me to go out to rummage sales, thrift stores and pretty much anywhere else I could think of to get cheap merchandise and turn a profit.
It was at a church rummage sale in my town that I stumbled upon a memory. A memory that dated all the way back to 3rd grade. Because of our closeness to a power plant, a worker from the plant came out to talk about nuclear power and to hand out a book to each student in the class. This is a report about said book.
Bababadum
{Geiger counter clicks twice}
Bababadum
{Geiger counter clicks twice again}
Bababadum Bababadum Bababadum
{Geiger counter now clicks fast and starts beeping}
They're clicky and their nukey,
They'll turn your body ooky
Who's bright idea was this bookie?
The atoms family!
So, yeah. This is what we were handed and along with the help of our teacher, we were supposed to learn how nuclear power works.
Being an 8 year old, there were only two things I knew about nuclear power.
1)Homer simpson works at a power plant and 2) Something called a meltdown, thanks to hours of watching my mom play simcity.
When it came time to ask questions to the friendly technician, I asked one question. "Could there ever be a meltdown?"
This question caught the nice guy off guard. I'm sure a classroom full of kids would ask dumb questions like "Do you like your job?" or "Does it pay well?" But to be asked such a serious question by a damn kid must have disheartened him.
Not wanting to cause a panic, he shrugged and said :"Anything could happen, but there's a lot of smart people working at the plant to prevent that kind of thing from happening.
(I would like to note at the time, my dad was working at the power plant and I can easily compare him to Homer Simpson, if that means anything regarding the technician's answer.)
Anyways, to the book...
Way back in the 3rd grade, I did all the activities and read all the stuff because I was deep down, a good student.
The book I found was actually in pretty rough shape. The back few pages were a little tattered and someone had really gone to town on a few of the pages with marker. There were a few pages that survived that I've taken a second look at as a sullen smart-ass adult.
Judging from the mother atom picture and the two "baby" atoms, this could also be used
for some obscure sex-ed class for asexual reproduction.
Context is everything, kids...
Another fun page I looked at as an adult and figured I could leave this page blank and uncolored with creative thinking. The obvious answers of what shouldn't be colored is the cake, the cat, the apple, the fish and santa... But here's my reasoning behind leaving them all uncolored:
Cake: What? Workers at the plant can't celebrate birthdays or retirements with cake? What's this world coming to???
Santa: I don't want to work at a place that doesn't allow the open celebration of holidays... Christian or otherwise. (Now that I think about it, if I was a worker at a plant and saw Santa any time of the year other than at Christmas, I'd be calling security...)
Fish: (Insert blinky the 3 eyed fish joke) (Also, I'll come back to this one.)
Cat: To help keep those pesky radrats under control.
Why are there stairs for the fish?
As I look at this now as an adult with a degree in biology, I can state 2 things, 1)fish are pretty stupid and 2) water has a tendency to flood. With enough water in the system, those fish would go straight to the damn core... I know, I know, Real plants have filtration systems and grates and stuff to keep things from getting into or out of the plant...
The more I look at this, the more I get the idea that the guy that created mirelurks from fallout had this book at one point in his life and just kept staring at this thinking "Wouldn't it be cool if fish got into the power plant and mutated into monsters?"
Thoughts as a kid:I can draw better than that!
Thoughts as an adult: Are they already mutated from the sun's radiation?
This is another picture that kinda bothered me both as a kid and as an adult. As a kid, I just was bothered as to how poorly drawn it was. As an adult I wondered why they weren't drawn to look more human.
I mean, in less than 10 minutes I can draw 2 faces (With my non-dominant hand) that look more realistic. Here, look:
Well, enough of that. Hope you enjoyed this. Maybe I'll get around to doing more...
To me, I like buying games where there's more than one game within the cartridge/disc/whatever. Especially older games that I grew up with.
Yep, I'm a damned dinosaur when it comes to games. The new 3-d stuff is alright I guess, but I still find myself going back to the old stuff I grew up with.
Anyways, this is sort of a review over the few anthologies I've bought over the years.
So, here's a quick review/opinion article over some of them.
#1 Sonic Ultimate Genesis Collection
Price I paid: 16.35
Number of games: "over 40"
approximate cost per game: $.41+or-
Worth it? : Totally!
So, I didn't exactly grow up with the Sega Genesis. My cousin had it and when we went to visit, I indulged a little and played. I did manage to get a Genesis when I was about 15, but traded it to a friend for some N64 games.
My main reason for buying the game was some of the RPGs on it. Shining force I and II are on it as well as Phantasy star 1-3 (You have to unlock #1 but it's doable.)
There's also plenty of good arcade games on this puppy. The original Alien Syndrome, Decap attack, Fantasy Zone and Gain Ground are on here. In addition, it has a pretty handy save state function for games that didn't otherwise have any kind, like streets of rage, the first sonic game and several others that simply lacked but needed a save ability.
There's also plenty of games for single or 2 players.
This is the kind of thing I love. Plenty of games and added features all for one simple price on one disk.
#2 Metal slug Anthology
The one I bought didn't have boxart...
Price I paid: $32.24 (USED)
Number of games: 6 1/2* Read further on this...
approximate cost per game: $4.96
Worth it?: Uh, Yeah!
So, I have a bit of an unexpected Metal slug addiction, which is actually somewhat surprising, seeing as how I don't usually like many "Run-n-gun" games. But there's a long back story as to how I got into metal slug.
I was about 13 when my mom took me, my sister and two of her friends to this campground. They had this little arcade in the basement. There were 2 or 3 pinball machines (Addams family, Jurassic park and I can't remember the other one...) Galaga and metal slug 2.
I put in a quarter and got to playing and was taken by the graphics and gameplay. I was just wowed and had never heard of the game before.
Fast forward a few years later to college. A friend of mine had an X-box 360 and one of the games on the arcade was MS3. I had been reunited and was happy.
Anyways, The MS: Anthology comes with "7" games. Metal slugs 1-6 and Metal slug X which is just Metal slug 2 with some modifications, It's still the same game, just with some added bonuses.
The only problem is that (To me) The only ones that feel worth playing are 1, X,3 and 5. I don't know why but I feel that the other games, 2, 4 and 6 are mediocre at best.
There is something though. If you have a second player, it changes EVERYTHING. All the games become something different and it adds a nice Competitive Co-op mode.
#3 Mega Man Anniversary Collection - PlayStation 2
Price I paid: 12.99 Number of games: 8 + 2 games that can be unlocked Approximate cost per game: $1.30 Worth it?: Hells yeah!!! So, I grew up a massive fan of the Mega Man series. I had 2-6 on the original NES but after the house went down after the storm, I had a profound desire to play them again... That's when I heard about the collection on Gamecube and PS2. I bought it online and it fulfilled my robot bloodlust. All the games I grew up with were there in their original format along with some other ones I had never played before. I only played 7 a few times and I never even heard of 8 The first 6 were what I was accustomed to and they were in their original unaltered versions which made me happy. 7, which I had played maybe 2 or 3 times in the past, was alright. 8 was okay but I never got around to beating it.
#4 Mega Man X Collection - Nintendo Gamecube
Price I paid: 30.00? (But now I see it on amazon for PS2. NEW for 12.00) Number of games: 6 + one game to be unlocked Approximate cost per game: $5.00 or 10.00 per game I actually liked to play... Worth it?: Let's talk about that... Ah Megaman X. The grown up version of the thing I grew up with. A little darker, better graphics... I actually disliked the X series. But again, I grew up with 1-3 because I had the SNES and rented it constantly. At the time of me buying it, I was in college and had some extra money holed away. I saw it on sale at Wal-mart and thought "Hey, It might be fun to get back into that." I was half right. The first 3 games brought back a sense of nostalgia. The catchy music, the decent graphics and neat enemy design made me remember what I did like about the series. And then there was X4 - X6. Growing up, I didn't get a playstation until I was maybe 13, and even then, I only played it at my dad's house which I only went to maybe 4-5 times a year and it didn't have a memory card. The games I had were Crash Bandicoot Warped(good), Austin Powers Pinball ( Yech.) and Croc (Meh...) I never got into the 4-6 games and looking back, I probably wouldn't have. The complex storyline, the desparate reaching for creative enemy design and dark edginess didn't do it for me. And then there's the game that you unlock... a Megaman racing game. To me, it isn't good. It feels like a poor version of Mario Kart with Megaman characters. Meh. The X Collection was my first introduction to the later X games and I wasn't Thoroughly impressed. It might be for some gamers, but not for me. Well, That's it for now. Go play or something.
I've been cleaning out all the old junk that has accumulated in my house lately. A majority of it was stuff I bought thinking I could make a profit by reselling online. I had high hopes. I could find a bag of action figures at thrift stores for as little as a dollar with the chance to make 30 - 50 dollars a piece.
Unfortunately for me, a few things happened... Other people got the idea and I didn't read the fine print that "Box included" is what made the items so fetching in cost. So, a few years have passed, My ambitions are low, so it's time to get rid of all this junk that's been cluttering up my room and garage. Heck, some of this stuff I've had since childhood. Let's take a looky-loo at what we have...
"Talking" Steve Irwin with Alligator
I went to school for wildlife management. One of the reasons I went was my love of nature and the desire to educate others about the wilderness. My inspiration to do so came from a few key people: The Kratt Brothers, Jeff Corwin and of course, Steve Irwin, The crocodile hunter.
Mr. Irwin passed away while I was in my first year of college. His passing kinda hit me hard. I had always wanted to meet him and found him to be inspirational. I found an action figure of him that has a speak function that isn't working right now. (I think the batteries might be dead.) I still feel kinda attached to this one, so back into my collection he goes!
Big ass collection of power rangers
I grew up half-watching the power rangers as a kid. It was neat, The monsters were cool and the plots were simple enough. I guess but I never got into it. Whether I wasn't really old enough when it was on or it just missed me altogether, I'm not sure. It also did fall into a group of things I didn't really like because as a kid, I loved mega man (Oh, here we go again...) and people that saw me liking mega man figured I'd like MMPR as well... It really wasn't my thing. I managed to find the figurines a few years back and had heard there was a movie coming out so I put them in storage. I never found the opportunity to list and sell them so whatevs. From what I've seen online, they don't sell for much anyways.
Bigger Ass collection of pokemon
I now noticed that my sister drew on Chancey.
Ahh, Pokemon, AKA Jump The Shark The Franchise. I was part of the first wave of pokemon. I even got a damn VHS explaining what pokemon were and how to prepare for the invasion. I got into it a little bit. I bought Pokemon Red, Pokemon Snap and Pokemon Stadium... But that was about it. My real love came partially from the figures. I bought a single set and then everyone around me decided "We know what to get him for gifts for every occasion" I had amassed a collection of dozens of the damn things. When Pokemon Gold/Silver came out, I was on a delay and hadn't got to play it for a few years. I haven't even picked up the later games. I kept one or two that I legitimately liked, but the rest are going to be donated, Let some die hard freak win the lottery...
The shitheads... I mean, Hersheys Kisses people
That's what they look like though...
Ask any kid what they think these things are, and they'll tell you they're some sort of attempt to cash in on the emoticon movie. But, they're not. Once upon a time, in a mystical land called Pennsylvania, some guy invented chocolate and took over the world... He built a theme park based off of chocolate or something.
In all seriousness, these are the little mascots for the Hersheyland park that remind me of the 7 Duffs from the simpsons. I've had these sitting around for about 20 years and gave up trying to make heads or tails of them. Whatever. NEXT!
Farfel the dog
Does anyone else find it ironic that they're using a dog to sell chocolate?
I didn't know who or what the hell Farfel was until I looked him up recently. He was a puppet used to sell Nestle brand chocolate. I'm not even sure where I got him, but I'm now somewhat glad he's gone. I feel like the ads he was in were damn creepy.
The cameraman was killed instantly.
the director was found hours later, stuffed with baby Ruth wrappers.
Some simpsons figurines
Once upon a time, I actually liked watching the Simpsons. I bought the video games, I watched the shows, I bought the kids meals just so I could get the stupid toy that came with it. Then, one day, I quit watching. Not just the Simpsons, but like... Everything.
In college, I didn't have much time to watch much of anything, so shows I was interested in (Lost, umm... There were others...) got the axe in my interests. Simpsons was one of them. I missed close to 12 years, and I don't really plan on catching up. For what it's worth, Uter is a neat character, and Creepy flanders was cool too, but not cool enough to keep.
Weird Heavyset GI Joe knock-offs
These things were cool. I remember getting them when I was about 9 and thought they were the greatest. I can't remember the brand name they were, but they were only sold at dollar general for a few years. Each of them came with an accessory ,usually a gun, or a grenade. The cop came with a night stick, The climber guy had a pick axe and the fire fighter has a fire extinguisher.
I had the entire set and then one day, the stores just stopped carrying them completely. I never figured out why. I don't know why, but they sort of remind me of the Heavy from Team Fortress 2. Whatever, They don't bring me Joy anymore. Into the donation bin they go!
Ephialtes from 300
300 was a movie that came out while I was in college. Everyone quoted it, did the "THIS IS SPARTA!" quotes and all the other crap. I found this amazingly detailed figure at a thrift store for 50 cents and bought it hoping it was worth some bank. It was not. He wasn't in the box and didn't have his extra head, so he wasn't worth listing.
Buncha Kaiju
Awesomely enough, these 3 were in a box at a yardsale marked "Dinosaurs" I got them all for a dollar and kept them for a while. While I'm not the biggest fan of the old Godzilla movies, they're pretty detailed figurines. I hope a big Kaiju fan finds them at a thrift store and loses their mind on the luck they had finding them.
Stinky diver from Kablam!
I have no memory of how this guy got in my collection, but I have a vague memory of the show Kablam! Stinky diver was part of a group called "Action League Now!" which was a group of crime fighters that... Fought crime... Ack, just watch a damn episode.
Inspector Gadget with a friggin' Ax.
I found him like this. I'm not kidding.
I remember going to a yard sale where action figures were in little bags. These two were bagged together along with the silvery ax that the one gadget holds. I don't know why he was packaged like this by the people selling him, but I like it. I'm keeping him. The other one can go.
Well, that's one of many crates of junk cleared out. Stay tuned! Or don't... I'm just writing this dumb thing, It's not like I have authority over what you do.
About 4 years ago, I got a job at a saddle shop doing internet sales work and IT stuff. It was the first real job I got since graduating college and it paid the bills.
In addition to this, I had also managed to get my driver's licence and started making my way in the world.
It started out simple enough. Manage an Amazon, Ebay and regular store account with some help from another IT worker. Things were going pretty good and normal until about a year and a half into working...
I assume this means no more horsing around at work...
My boss, who is an avid military collector decided to buy a collection and add it all to our regular merchandise. After a while, I became the only IT person and learned quite a bit about military stuff.
But, things can't remain the same for long. I grew tired with my job, and other stuff happened. So, starting soon, I'm making my way into the medical sector.
With all this being said, here's 10 things I got out of working for a neat little saddle shop.
#1 I learned how to drive in a northern Ohio Winter
Hope you have mittens...
Before I started working, I had never learned to drive a car. I knew how, but never got around to getting my license. Luckily for me, I managed to get it all figured out by August of 2013. By November, the first heavy snow storms had hit and there I was driving a 10 year old Oldsmobile Alero (White by the way,) Into a damn Blizzard. I also learned that car electrical systems get wonky as hell in the cold. One morning it was -30 out and when I started my car, the windows decided to roll down, When there's ice on a window that's trying to go down, the window tends to shatter and break. Long story short, I drove 20 miles into town with no window and cuts on my face to get a replacement. Though I dread winter still, I'm still confident I can make it to and from work without dying. (fingers crossed, Note to self, buy St. Christopher Pendant.)
#2 A surplus West German combat helmet (with cover!)
What tended to happen often with certain items was that they just wouldn't sell. We'd list them, they wouldn't sell. Time would pass and my boss would ask me to go ahead and relist them. This helmet was the first of many items I got tired of seeing not sell. I finally decided "Heck with it, I'm buying it so I don't have to reshoot it and re-list it." Price-$10.00
#3 a surplus East German M43 Spring hat (2 of em!)
I accidentally the pictures...
Yet another in the line of items that didn't sell well. But with a little difference. I actually wanted one of these. Something about them, I really like. The color is good and the earflaps are nice. I like them so much, I bought two!
#4 WWII Era 83rd Division Patches
This is where things get neat. During WWII, My uncle Sam Magill Served in the 83rd Division where he managed to get 20,000 German Troops to surrender. My sister made a video on youtube about him. I jumped at the chance to buy the patches that belonged to my Uncle's division.
#5 A replica German Luftwaffe officer's sword
I actually don't condone anything the Germans did during WWII. This thing has a funny story. My boss was going to a gun show but didn't have enough room to take this. He buzzed me in my office and asked "Do you want a sword? It's a reproduction but it's a sword." I was hesitant but said yes. He brought it up, asked for 10 bucks and also threw in some other stuff.
For what it's worth, the sword is an obvious fake. I debated for a while of altering the pommel and guard piece to make it into something else. But I'm lazy.
#6 A gas mask I'm afraid to do anything with.
I can't even remember what I did with the real thing...
The gas mask I bought was a case of laziness at work. I didn't feel like researching where the mask came from, and I didn't feel like photographing it, so I just asked how much my boss wanted for it. He made a deal so I threw it in the trunk of my car and was like "Great! Now I have a gas mask!"
A few weeks passed and I was researching another gas mask when I learned that a lot of the masks used asbestos in the filters. I put the mask away somewhere and have never messed with it again. Eventually, I might get it back out and get it tested, or just pitch the damn thing, but I haven't decided yet.
#7 Pretty good experience with customer service
This was actually pretty good. In the 4 years I worked at the store, I learned how to negotiate with frustrated customers, communicate with customers from other countries and just plain deal with people. There's no picture for it, but it's good anyways.
#8 My photography got used in a book I can't read.
While working on old Civil war era photos, I was contacted by a group that did research for photos of the era. They said my photo skills were impeccable and that they wanted to use my photography in their book. I agreed and was hoping to get a copy, except, it's on this thing called "dropbox" I don't understand it so I'll probably never see my handiwork. Oh well. (If you're interested, here's a link to the facebook page.)
#9 A pretty darn nice Knife
Not a whole lot to say about this one. It's a nice looking knife.
#10 Surplus West German Dust Goggles
To be used for my supervillain costume.
Well, that's it. I start work at my new job on Monday. See ya all later!
Brutal: Paws of fury is one of those things that wanted to be something else (I think.) Not violent like Mortal Kombat and definitely not as memorable as Street Fighter, but it somehow stuck in my memory.
I got the game as a gift from a family member that didn't know a whole lot about video games but they got it for me because (A-I liked video games and (B-It had animals on it and (C-I was taking karate at the time.
featuring : Punchy rabbit, grouchy bear, dignified wildcat, angry lion and long eared thing in the back.
To start, I don't like fighting games very much. I've never been good at them and I just don't like them. Brutal was something different. This was a fighting game that featured nothing but animals and it actually had some karate stuff in it.
Anyways, The game isn't all that bad. Granted, I'm horrible at it and have only beat the final boss once, but it does have possibly some of the best music for a fighting game on the SNES
Anyways, This is a character review as with most fighting games, the characters are the most recognizable part of the game. So, Let's take a look!
Kung-Fu Bunny (like 15 years before Kung-Fu Panda)
Other Fighting game Equivalent: Liu Kang?
Coolness rating: 6/10
Comments: Probably the only character I used to get far in the game. From what I've seen with longplayers, he's the only character they've ever used except for one person that used Foxy.
Prince Leon of Kenya (Because Lions are king of the jungle.)
Other Fighting game Equivalent: Not sure.
Coolness rating: 6/10
Comments: Leon's neat because he can summon a woofer speaker to knock his opponent on their ass. His taunt is him showing his sparkling teeth. Which makes you want to hit him even more.
Rhei Rat (AKA Moody McMoodypants)
Other Fighting game Equivalent: Again, Not sure
Coolness rating:3/10
Comments: I think I played as him once. He looks pissed no matter what. Probably because his wife yelled at him for putting his shorts in with the white laundry and making everything pink.
Tai Cheetah (Get it? It's a play on "Tai Chi"!!!)
Other Fighting game Equivalent: This is harder than I thought...
Coolness rating: 5/10
Comments: Tai is usually the first opponent you face. He isn't that strong but he's fast and can usually hit you a couple of times.
Kendo Coyote
Other Fighting game Equivalent: Johnny Cage
Coolness rating:4/10
Comments: Kendo Coyote is some kind of Hollywood type trying to win the tournament for fame. He does this weird spin move that makes him hard to hit.
Foxy Roxy
Other Fighting game Equivalent: Sonya blade?
Coolness rating: 8/10
Comments: Where do I start with Foxy Roxy? She's the token female of the game and it shows. she's scantily clad with form fitting pants and top, and she's the only character with X's in her name. Her taunt is slapping her ass. I'm not kidding, go look it up.
Ivan the Bear
Other Fighting game Equivalent: Zangief
Coolness rating: 6/10
Comments: When I first played the game, I played as Ivan because I was 8 and figured a bear would have no problem eating or killing the other animals. I soon learned that this game isn't based on biology and that Ivan isn't that good. His moves seem slower than the others and they don't have range.
Dali Llama-Hello Dali!
Other Fighting game Equivalent: Every boss ever? and smoke. Coolness rating:7/10
Comments: Dali Llama is the boss of the game. For what it's worth, He doesn't look like a llama and he doesn't fight like a Llama. Llamas are tough. They kick, they spit and they don't take prisoners. Dali uses this weird black magic to turn into smoke to attack you. Real llamas don't do that. Real Llamas fight with honor. So, there you have it, A strange and mediocre game I grew up with with all the characters explained. I never played the later games that were on the Saturn or PC. All they did was add a cat with psychosis, a fast talking crocodile, a culty panther and a mole that turned into a dragon... That actually sounds cool... See ya!
So, if you've read through my rambling blog that keeps changing its focus, you'll know that I grew up in the 90s with video games. That's the gist of it.
Anyways... Using the great powers of black magic, Science and alien technology "Borrowed" from a few choice places... I have created a sort of time machine...
Not to scale...
So, what pray tell am I going to use this device? To visit the prehistoric times to see how animals thrived? To stop the evils in this world from happening?
Nah. I'm transmitting a younger version of myself to argue with...
Welcome to....
There's more than 20 years difference between these pictures...
The megaman show came out when I was about 6 years old. I absolutly loved the series as a kid so much I dressed as megaman for Halloween when I was 6.
While I had an obsession with megaman, my sister loved Lion King. And if you're going to bitch about my costume, remember, it's 1994 and the internet didn't exist.
I loved it stupidly simply because it had Megaman. I remember quoting "Sizzling Circuits" and the other stupid things said in the show.
Anyways, we're going to take a look at a show my childhood self loved but after taking a second look at it, my adult self realized there were some gaping flaws.
Let's get started
First, let's go ahead and admit how friggin' cool the intro theme is.
SUPER FIGHTING ROBOT!
MEGA MAN!
Fighting to save.... THE WORLD!
Yeah, the intro to this show was pretty energized. It featured megaman being built
When I first saw this as a kid, I didn't want to watch the show anymore.
Then comes the second half, Wily shows up and starts wrecking shit.
Not every kid's show features Mass destruction.
Oh. Umm... Yeah. This makes the intro a lot darker.
Okay, so then Megaman shows up and starts violently kicking ass.
6yr old self- Do robots feel pain?
Myself now- I'm pretty sure my last car did, so probably. 6yr old self- (whimpering)
I didn't start the megaman series from the beginning, The first episode I ever saw was megaman on the moon (Episode 6) So, Let's start there!
Our episode begins with Megaman, Roll, Rush and Dr. Light and a bunch of generic people watching a space shuttle launch.
Oh yeah, and a girl wearing pink.Apparently her father is an astronaut.
About 30 seconds later, Gutsman and Cutman show up to do something stupid.
They throw a robot into a locker and trap some guy under a dome thing.
The creepy thing is, after the guy gets trapped under the thing, you can hear him whimpering. According to physics, if that thing was sealed, that guy is dead or dying...
Oh, so crystal man is there too. Anyways. The girl runs out onto the platform to talk to her father.
If this were real, she would have been so sniped.
I can't begin to think about how lax security is at a damn space shuttle launching.
So the girl suspects something's not right. Mega man decides to check things out for himself... BY CLIMBING THE SCAFFOLDING!?
Oh, and the girl is going to check things out too.
Seriously, where the hell is security?
So, Megaman figures out the astronauts aren't actually the astronauts, so he and Wily's bots have a fight on the platform. Crystal man knocks Megaman off.
"Good thing Dr. Light built me stronger than humpty dumpty!"
Myself now: No, it's a good thing he hit you and not the girl, or she'd be a damn smear on the launch pad! 6yr old self: (Whimpering)
Megaman tries to escape but runs into a robot's worst enemy: A drawer handle attached to the floor.
Found in aisle five, where door knobs are.
While this is going on, Dr. Wily and Protoman are in the shuttle prematurely getting ready to launch so they kill megaman.
Mega man blasts the thing holding his foot and escapes.
yay.
Next, Dr. Light, Roll and Megaman figure out that Tina, The little girl is missing.
Actual Dialog:
Megaman: Hey, Where is Tina?
Roll: She was here a moment ago
Dr. Friggin' Light: There's no time to find her. We've got to get to mission control
...
Okay, wait a minute, stop stop the show... I can't take this anymore.
You're telling me that a kid is left with Dr. Light, Mega man and Roll, goes missing and a damn doctor of robotics is just going to say "No time to find her. Let's work on something else."
...
ANYWAYS.
So, they go to mission control where the mission controller guy says that the shuttle is transporting a lens for a laser located on the moon.
...
Sure, go on.
Dr. Light builds a rocket jet pack for megaman.
Dr. Light: Be careful, Mega... Those engines develop 1 million pounds of thrust.
6yr. old self: (Watching with fixed grin because it's megaman with a jetpack.) Myself now: I don't have a degree in physics, but I call bullshit. First off, Each of the thruster engines on a space shuttle is capable of 375,000 pounds of thrust. This means that Dr. Light magically whipped up a dual engine thruster jetpack with almost triple the efficiency of a damn rocket made by rocket scientists. Second of all, these are supposed to be powered by liquid oxygen. Furthermore... 6yr. old self: "But it's megaman with a jet pack." ...
So, Megaman follows them up to the space station where we find Wily and his robots wasting time.
"Cutman Cutting the cards" 6yr old me didn't find this funny because I didn't know what cutting the cards meant (And I actually cut up a deck of cards to try to figure out the joke.) Adult me didn't find this funny because it's a juvenile pun and if you were stuck in space with only a deck of cards to keep you entertained and someone cut them up... Whatever. Let's keep going.
Okay, so Tina conveniently finds a kid sized space suit laying around and is sneaking around the space ship. Not sure how she was trained to move around and wear a suit but since nothing else in this show makes any sense, let's move on.
Dr. Wily and the robots get to the space station and they fight the security bots and people at the station which leads me to the next horrifying scene
That is the look of a man knowing he will die from a slow lack of oxygen or from starvation.
Heck, this guy doesn't even get the honor of an explosion, it's just, Hey look! Gutsman beats up some robots!
Moving along, Wily finds the damn lens and I realize I only have 13 minutes to go.
And as predicted, he's going to use it for world domination.
Luckily, it's protected by a force field. The only people that know the code are the astronauts.
Fortunately, Wily has no bargaining power in the matter. Yet.
So, Megaman finally shows up, Shoots gutsman and is here to save the day!
Nothing more can go wrong...
DAMMIT, TINA!
6yr old self: Wait, wasn't she on the space shuttle with the astronauts?
Adult self: Oh my god, you're right! How did she do that?
So, Wily threatens to launch the kid out into outer space if Megaman doesn't buzz off. So, he does but he comes right back as if on cue.
So, Wily flew away but left a bomb on board the space station. We know how this goes, Mega man will find it with like 10 seconds to spare and save the day.
No. Please no. Not the damn dog.
While Rush is a staple within the megaman games, He is the most annoying thing about the show (Save for the complete lack of regard for safety and science)
Because there's no bomb scanning equipment (Couldn't they just check the security cameras or something?) Rush has a scanner in his nose that they'll use to find the bomb.
While all this crap is going on, Wily makes it to the moon and a lame battle takes place. Crystal man blows up a moon buggy, Cutsman knocks a sattelite dish on 2 robots and makes a lame dish related pun and Gutsman makes the most cryptic comment so far on the show:
"HEEEERE'S GUTSMAN"
Again, this line is lost on both my childhood self and adulthood self. My childhood self didn't see the shining until I was about 13, and my adult self has heard the damn "heere's Jonny" joke at least 10,000 times in my life. He doesn't even say it while breaking through a door, he already broke through the door, walks slowly and scares off some astronauts...
I mean, What the hell?
Yeah, so Roll and Rush get to the space station, but Rush is "Space sick" A robotic dog is space sick and has to find a bomb.
Look who called it!
So, Megaman runs the bomb out and they all head to the moon.
But, crystal man shoots megaman with the laser.
So, the big scary laser that's supposed to destroy cities just disables megaman? Sure.
Gah, how much longer is this crap?
6 yr old self: You swear alot!
A bunch of more pseudoscience happens, the girl revives mega man and he fights crystal man. (I just want it to be over )
So mega man takes crystal man's weapon and blows him up. Great, Moving along.
Mega man reroutes a sattelite telescope thing to reflect the laser beam.
It blows up the space station and Dr. Wily flys away, Consequence free. After threatening to destroy a major city and all its inhabitants... FREE.
OH MY GOD, YOU MORON.
So the bad guys fly off into the sunset on a stolen space shuttle, Mega man commends the girl because "If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have stopped Wily" (EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T)
This is one of those things looking back that has not aged well at all. The animation is so-so but the writing and the plot? I know it's a kids show, and I might have been too young for it, but that was before all the TV7 and TV13 stuff that came out later in the 90s.
Ugh. Okay, show's over. Get back to your time period, me...
6yr old self: Can I come back to visit?
Myself now: If I get enough readers, maybe.
6yr old self: Ok, BYE!
...
Shoot, I should have told him to study more... Meh, Whatever.
